Joke

If you’ve heard this or a similar version before I apologize in advance….

A guy works in investment banking on Wall Street. He is routinely working 75 hours weeks, eating like shit and can hardly remember what the gym looks like. Needless to say, he doesn’t feel well, so he decides to go to the doctor for a checkup.

The doctor tells him matter-of-factly that if he doesn’t radically change his lifestyle then he’ll be dead within a year. The guy thinks long and hard about this and decides that health is the most important thing. He drops everything in NYC and moves to a remote town in Alaska for some serious R&R.

The town he settles in is comprised of fisherman and loggers – there don’t seem to be any women at all in the town. In fact, the only source of amusement in the town is the one bar where all the men gather. Although boring, this town is perfect for the guy and he feels more relaxed right from the start.

After a couple weeks, the guy is in the bar having a few beers with the other guys in town. All of a sudden, the ground starts to shake and the windows start to rattle and every other guy in the bar jumps up, starts to cheer and runs out into the street. Curious as to what all the commotion is about, the guy follows them out, only to discover that a caribou stampede is running through the town. What’s more, the men proceed to tackle the caribou to the ground and screw them right there in the street. Once they’re done, the men gather themselves and walk right back into the bar as if nothing out of ordinary has happened.

The guy is appalled at what he has witnessed, but since no one else seems to mind, he decides to keep quiet and not rock the boat as the new guy in town.

A couple weeks later, the guy is at the bar again when the ground starts to shake and the windows start to rattle. Again, all the other men in the bar jump up, start cheering and run out into the street. The guy follows and sure enough it’s another caribou stampede. And sure enough the men tackle the caribou to the ground, screw them and walk back into the bar like nothing is out of the ordinary.

Still perplexed by this odd behavior, the guy once again decides to remain quiet because he doesn’t want to make waves as the new guy. At the same time, he starts to feel pretty horny as the latest caribou episode reminds him that he hasn’t even seen a woman since he’s moved to Alaska.

A couple weeks later, everyone is at the bar once again when the ground starts to shake and the windows start to rattle. All the other men jump up, start cheering and run out into the street. The guy follows them out and sees that another caribou stampede is rolling through town. As the other men tackle the caribou and start screwing them the guy thinks about how horny he is and how he really wants to fit in. Perhaps letting impulsiveness get the better of him he runs out into the street, tackles a caribou and proceeds to screw it. When he’s done he returns to his bar stool, only to his surprise all the other men are giving him dirty looks and whispering about him. Confused, the guy calls the bartender over and asks, “Bartender, I just screwed the caribou like everyone else did. Why is everyone giving me dirty looks?”

The bartender replies, “Buddy…that was the ugliest caribou I’ve seen in my entire life.”